I've never bred bettas, so I can only tell you what I've heard 3rd hand. You can let the female choose when to visit the male, with a divider, or by putting her in a small cup she can jump out of. Or you can separate them for a week or two and try again. You don't leave them alone together unless you are there to watch them. I think it is fairly common that a pair not be "in sync" and be ready at the same time.
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